Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Cricket 101 - from one Martian to another!

( Part of an assignment. Posted for another :-p)
 I and M2 had just connected the “TeeVee” sent by the Earthlings through their tricoloured probe. As I flicked the screens rather rapidly, M2 suddenly yelled “ STOP”! Terrified, I flicked back .It was a cricket match. I relaxed, watching M2’s square eyes turn circle in alarm.
“ What’s this? Why are they (pointing at two batsmen running, the bowler yelling and the fielder, throwing the ball just as the batsman crosses the crease) in a hurry? And the planet?
Laughing, I replied,” That’s cricket. The planet is called a ball.”
M2 wasn’t satisfied,” That human flies” (pointing to the fielder , who jumps up in the air and catches the ball)
 “That’s a fielder,” I explained,” Now that he caught the ball, the guy who hit it will be replaced.”

M2 looked flabbergasted. His bubble-shaped brain had begun to go reddish-brown due to the stress. Sensing more questions, I hastened to reply, “ The blue humans strike the planet..I mean, ball with their sabers and..”
“ Look look!” M2 exclaimed, “ the panels have disintegrated! And oh – that’s so sad – their circuit boards have slipped out of their sockets.”
Now it was my chance to be flabbergasted. I stared at the screen for the dratted panels. After three minutes, I gave up and asked ,“where are these panels you see, M2?”
But M2 was enamoured, “ M1...the humans are geniuses. Their panels just..just integrated.That human “, pointing towards the wicket keeper, “ just assembled them with his hands. We must source some of that human skin.”


Resisting the impulse to laugh, I said “ M2, those panels...I mean, the stumps, falling indicate that the human should be replaced. And the circuit boards are...easily detachable”. In an attempt to steer the conversation back to cricket, I continued, “ When the ball crosses...”
“ The ball hit the sitting humans”, M2 interrupted.
“The blue humans gets six runs now. Had it crossed the white rope, they would have got four.”

M2’s eyes darted to the screen.” Till when do the blue humans get runs?”, he asked.
I pointed at the scorecard, which said ‘ Target: 290’ and said, “ Till they cross 290. See that four?” (pointing towards the ‘ Ind: 200/4’) “ That means four humans have been replaced, and there are six left. Eleven humans make one team.
Quizzically M2 asked,” Wait, that’s ten. Where’s the other human?”

I replied, “ M2 dear, there is always one human who doesn’t get replaced. Quite like me on this mission.”

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